I'm not freaking out.
I'm only graduating from college in four days. But not today. For today I can still pretend to be an irresponsible college student who can live off of Pop Tarts and midnight doughnut runs. Sunday I may have to eat broccoli.
But since I finished all of my finals and portfolio presentations today, I am done with college work!!! Let me just say that one more time. I AM DONE! Yay! Obviously I'm a bit excited. I hope you can share in my joy. :)
But that being the case, I decided it was time to read the letter I wrote to God at the beginning of this semester. Since I wrote one last semester without really thinking about it, and it turned out that a lot of what I prayed for happened, I decided to try it again. Occasionally throughout the semester I would want to look at what I had written to see if any of it had happened yet. But I restrained, until tonight. Perhaps I should have looked. Because what I realized is that some of the life I had asked for I could have experienced if I had let myself.
What I mean is this: I wrote that "I would not get so overwhelmed and caught up in life that I forget my relationship with [God]."And while I worked on my senior show and got caught up in my three jobs, classes, volunteer teaching at the high school, and relationships, I let myself get overwhelmed. I let myself freak out. The thing is, I knew all along that God was going to take care of me. I knew I could trust him and that I could have peace in those situations. That was kind of the point of my senior show, finding peace in God. But I wanted to freak out. I wanted to have something to stress over, if only to earn more credit from those who seem to have more difficult paths to walk than I do. My point here is that I can't just write things and have them magically come true; I have to be active in seeking the life I want.
BUT...there was one thing I asked for that really did come true. In the most exciting way possible. At least that my small mind can imagine. And this is where fairy tales really do come true.
Yes, I went to Disney World. For a day. In the middle of finals.
Why? You ask. For a job interview! I definitely did not expect to hear back so quickly from them after I filled out the application, but the next day I completed the online interview, and right away was asked to come in for a face to face interview. And I wasn't going to do it. Because who, after all, is crazy enough to fly down to Florida for less than 24 hours for a job interview at Disney World right before taking their final exams in college?
I wasn't going to do it, but everybody convinced me otherwise. Everyone convinced me that I should go for it, that I would regret it if I didn't try. And I don't want the reason I didn't do something to be because I was too afraid to try. And I am in college after all. For however short of time that may be. So what the heck, I did something crazy and bought a plane ticket to Orlando.
And then I called my aunt to see if she could meet me at the airport. She lives about an hour away and is taking care of my Grandma, so I honestly was not sure if she would be able to. But remember how I said that God is going to take care of me and I can have peace in any situation? Well I thought I was crazy, but God took care of his child. It just so happens that my aunt from NY was flying down to Florida, on the same day as me! My Floridian aunt would already be there to pick her up! AND...my BIG SISTER was going to be on spring break that week and would be in Florida too!!! I was ecstatic. No, ecstatic is too calm of a word. I was bouncing off the walls with joy. You could not contain how ridiculously excited I was about the fact that I got to go to Florida for a day and see my family, totally unexpectedly.
So aside from missing one of my flights and barely sleeping in the 48 hour period, God totally worked out my trip to Florida. And hey, I wrote in my letter to him that "my fear would not hold me back from anything I want to do." It almost did, but it didn't! So don't let your fear hold you back from trying what you want to do. Don't let the reason you didn't do something be because you didn't try.
If I can do it, silly old nervous me, then you can try anything.